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GUIDELINES for TEENAGE PARTIES
There are many pressures on our youth leading to the use of alcohol and other harmful drugs. In addition to a powerful need for peer-group acceptance, our youth are bombarded by television and other media messages that promote the use of chemicals to give pleasure and avoid pain. Some parents further compound the problem by permitting underage children to drink in their homes, adding to the confusion about the acceptability of drinking.
When Your Teen is Hosting a Party ...
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Sit down with your teen and discuss understandings, expectations and responsibilities.
Establish a guest list. Avoid "open-house" parties. Decide what should be done if uninvited guests arrive.
Set a time limit, a definite start and end time.
Agree to rules ahead of time, such as:
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No drugs, including alcohol
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No smoking
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No leaving party and then returning
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No uninvited guests
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Lights left on
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Some rooms of the house off limits
Know your responsibilities as a parent. The responsible adult at a teenager's party is visible and AWARE. Remember, it is illegal to serve drugs, including alcohol, to minors. You are legally responsible for anything that may happen to a minor who has been served in your home.
Be alert to the signs of alcohol or drug use. Decide how to handle a guest who attempts to bring alcohol or drugs or who is otherwise uncooperative.
If a guest arrives under the influence of alcohol or drugs, call the parent to ensure the guest's safe transportation home. Do not let a person drive while under the influence of drugs or alcohol.
Invite another couple or parent over. Other adults are company for you during a long evening and can be of help with chaperoning.
When Your Teen is Attending a Party ...
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Call the host parent. Make sure that your basic ground rules, such as parental supervision and no alcohol/drugs, will be followed before you give your consent to attend a party. If your teenager complains that you don't trust him or her, explain that the issue is not one of trust, but rather an issue of parents agreeing to certain ground rules.
Check the party plans beforehand with your teen. Know where your child is going and with whom. When taking your teenager to a party, wait to see that he/she is inside the house. If you don't know the host parents, go to the door and introduce yourself. (This is easier when the children are not of driving age.)
Make it easy for your teenager to leave a party. If there is drinking or drug taking or any reason that your teenager wishes to leave a party, make an arrangement that your child can call you (or a designated adult) and you will come. Urge your child not to stay if drinking and drugs are present. He/she can pretend to be ill to remove himself/herself from that situation. Also, urge your child never to ride home with a driver who has been drinking.
BE UP TO GREET YOUR TEENAGER when he/she comes home from a party. This not only is a good time for sharing, but is a good time to observe the condition of your child upon returning from a party. Many parents make it easy for the child to come home under the influence of drugs/alcohol because the child knows the parent will not greet him/her.
If your teen is staying the night with a friend, check with the parents of the friend beforehand to verify that this is acceptable to them, they will be home, you both agree on curfew hours and alcohol/drug or any other house rules.
[SOURCE: Greenwich CT Advisory Council on Youth & Drugs, Inc
Fairbanks Hospital, Indianapolis]
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